🚩 Red Flags & Signs You’re in an Abusive Relationship
Recognizing the signs can help you protect your peace and your future. Abuse isn’t always physical—emotional, verbal, financial, and spiritual abuse are just as damaging.
Here are some red flags:
- Controlling behavior: Dictating your choices, actions, or finances.
- Lack of respect or trust: Constant criticism, broken promises, or disregarding your feelings.
- Jealousy and possessiveness: Wanting to control who you talk to or where you go.
- Emotional or physical abuse: Belittling, gaslighting, manipulation, or any form of harm.
- Anger management issues: Regular outbursts or aggressive behavior.
- Dishonesty: Lying or withholding important truths.
- Isolation: Cutting you off from family or friends.
- Disrespecting boundaries: Ignoring your limits or values.
- Substance abuse: Addictions that harm the relationship.
- Lack of emotional support: Not showing up for you during hard times.
I’ve been through every red flag listed here—and not with multiple men, but just one: the father of my children. I didn’t realize how deeply broken I was until I began to study domestic violence and emotional abuse. I saw the anger, I noticed the physical fights—but I missed the emotional damage. I just thought he was selfish. But the reality was, it was abuse.
It didn’t start with me. My mother went through toxic relationships too—with my father, and later, my stepfather. Both men battled addiction, just like my kids’ father did. My mom drank sometimes, and so did I. I said I would never repeat her life, but somehow, the same pain showed up in my home.
That’s when I realized: I was living under a generational curse.
But here’s the truth: God reveals it so He can heal it. I now believe that healing, love, and a healthy relationship are possible for me—but only if I do it God’s way this time. The curse ends with me. My next relationship will not be a repeat—it will be a restoration. My husband and I will build a home where God is the center, peace is the foundation, and generational curses are broken for good.
📖 Scriptures to Reflect On:
🔗 Generational Curses & Freedom in Christ:
“You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.”
—Exodus 20:5-6 NLT
This verse explains the cycle—but it also shows the way out. Obedience and love for God open the door to generational blessings that far outweigh the curses.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – What Love Truly Looks Like
- Ephesians 4:2-3 – Building Peace in Relationships
- Proverbs 4:23-27 – Guarding Your Heart & Path
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