Healing my conflict with God, my mind and my heart.

 Healing my conflict with God, my mind and my heart. 

I’m still following these steps and it’s getting me closer to God daily. I can hear his voice and I’m so grateful God is moving in my life all because I let my wall down and I let him in with these steps. I hope it helps y’all too! 

God bless you as you read this story and my notes on healing your conflict with God, sometimes we don’t want to admit that we get mad at God or ourselves but this is my testimony.

1. Bible Study                                                        

“Study and do your best to present yourself to God approved, a workman [tested by trial] who has no reason to be ashamed, accurately handling and skillfully teaching the word of truth.”

2 Timothy 2:15 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/2ti.2.15.AMP

Reading my bible and researching what I read, and writing it down. 

Finding scripture that brings me comfort in my times of discomfort. 

Taking notes while listening to a biblical speaker (pastor,teacher etc) on tv, radio and in church 

1. Prayer

 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) is able to accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].”

James 5:16 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/jas.5.16.AMP

Confess your sins and confess your conflict with God. Tell God everything you’re mad and embarrassed about. 

Talk to god about everything big or small. 

Write down your prayers and thoughts about god and your life. 

Find things to pray about

 (world events, your kids, your community etc). This will force you to talk to God about your problems and conflict you’re having with him. 

1. Worship/Praise

“But a time is coming and is already here when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit [from the heart, the inner self] and in truth; for the Father seeks such people to be His worshipers. God is spirit [the Source of life, yet invisible to mankind], and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.””

John 4:23-24 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/jhn.4.24.AMP

Thank God for everything in your life, good or bad. 

Meditate on things that God has done in your life, and things God helped you overcome in the past. 

Dance and sing , and set the atmosphere to invite God into your space. 

Return to intimacy with God by fully surrendering and letting your walls down. 

One day I was talking to my therapist about walls I have around my heart. I've been so mad at my life before 40 I really had to do a soul searching and figure out why I’m angry and I discovered not only am I angry but I had anger towards God. I've been angry at God for a lot of reasons: my career, my kids, my health and the train wreck that is my life. I was feeling like everything around me was fighting against me. Then I realized I was kicking myself too hard but not hard enough or in the right way. My therapist told me to write a letter to God and say everything I was thinking. I knew she was right but at the time I didn’t want to hear it, but I said ok. I let my pride stop me from writing this letter for about a week and when I finally committed to the assignment like always God stepped in and opened my eyes to see myself and God made me even more committed to his plans for my life and not what I feel they should be. God showed me how to reach my dreams and the places he needs me to go but only in his way and timing.

This is my letter to God….

Dear God,

I have been distant and mad lately, my heart has been in pain. I’ve been mad because I don’t understand why my life has been so hard, but I also feel like I haven’t always been disciplined in following your will, Lord. I realize as a child I would talk to you about anything and when I was afraid I’d run to you for comfort; But throughout my life I lost my way I forgot to acknowledge you Lord in all my way. I want to get back to the place where I call you father. God I need you to come into my heart and take control of my mind. Lord God I’m in need of a church home and a community of people to help me grow stronger in Christ. I’ve been alone a lot lately, and I know being alone and loneliness is not the same but it’s hard to see the difference sometimes; I just need spiritual support. God I want to be closer to you and I want my kids to know you more. My life feels like I’m standing still. I need to move forward in my calling. I have all the ideas in my mind and can't bring my ideas to life. God I want to change my life, my future and my finances. I believe the ideas I have are dreams you gave me God. Dreams to start a business, write a book, help women and children in crisis, this is my heart’s desire. Right now I live paycheck to paycheck, I’m sick all the time and I never have time to keep my house in order. God why have you given me all these dreams and ideas and I can't implement them in my life. I know you will give me the desires of my heart and I believe these dreams and desires come from you Lord God. I’ve been screaming on the inside with sadness and anger but I realize I’m only mad at myself. I have to put in work towards my dreams. God I trust your plan and I will obey thank you for being my Father, my friend and my everything. In Jesus name Amen